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People Or Objects? - - You Decide
By Guy Harris, Sat Dec 10th
"How you think determines how you act. How you act, in turn,determines how others react to you." - David J. Schwartz – The Magic of Thinking Big "…no matter what we’re doing on the outside, people respondprimarily to how we’re feeling about them on the inside."
- The Arbinger Institute – Leadership and Self-Deception -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Becoming a great leader requires people to behave in ratherunnatural ways. Most people will focus on their personal needsahead of the needs of others. One of the paradoxes of leadershipstates that we get our personal needs met by first consideringthe interests of the people we lead. Virtually anyone who has ever heard me speak has heard me usethe following quote from John Maxwell – “Leadership isinfluence. That’s it. Nothing more; nothing less.” Using thisquotation as the starting point for discussions on leadershipnaturally forces the discussion away from questions of controland towards questions of influence. The American HeritageDictionary defines control and influence as: Control – to exercise authority or dominating influence over;direct; regulate Influence – a power indirectly or intangibly affecting a personor course of events Based on the Maxwell definition of leadership, great leadersrely on indirect and intangible methods rather than on directand dominating behaviors to move their organizations forward.The desire to learn these “indirect” and “intangible” methodsoften leads people to study “people skills” and “influencestrategies” in their efforts to grow as leaders. While I fullysupport the development and understanding of these skills andstrategies, I also recommend that we take it one step further. Irecommend that we go beyond the external behaviors and addressthe foundational thinking that supports them. When I work with another person and I try to “get them to dothings” or to “motivate them to work harder”, I have slippedinto thinking of the person as an object. They have ceased to bea person with wants, needs,
New Mammal Discovered in TanzaniaRedOrbit, TX - 7 hours agoAlthough it has become a rare occurrence in the modern time, scientists recently reported the discovery of a new species of mammal in the Journal of Zoology ...New shrew-like mam
Nature.com (subscription), UK -The grey-faced sengi is so large, by elephant shrew standards, that it proved too big for the traps that Francesco Rovero, of the Trento Museum of Natural ...
Rare shrew-like mammal found in TanzaniaLIVENEWS.com.au, Australia - 37 minutes agoThe discovery would be formally announced in the February 4 issue of the Journal of Zoology. Scientists say discoveries of new mammals are rare and ...Hum
RedOrbit, TX -4 issue of the Journal of Zoology, suggests the new species is confined to two high-altitude forest blocks in the mountains of south-central Tanzania.
and desires. They have becomesomething to move to my will rather than someone to understand. If I view them as an object, they will probably pick-up on mythinking and react accordingly. They will most likely view myefforts to “influence” them as manipulative. If they see me astrying to manipulate them, they will probably resist – even ifonly subtly. If they resist, I will probably try some other“influence tactic” to “get them to do things.” Thus the cyclerepeats. If I see them as a person, and then work to understand theirperspective before acting; I stand a better chance of positivelyinfluencing their behavior. When they sense that I understandthem, they are less likely to resist and more likely tocooperate. Now we have an upward, cooperative cycle in ourrelationship. Can I guarantee cooperative effort from every person when I usethis approach to leadership? No. But I can guarantee that peoplewill eventually see my “influence tactics” as manipulative if Idon’t first try to understand them and their needs. I can’t control how another person will react to me. I can onlycontrol me. I can work to put the relationship odds in my favorby forcing myself to view them as a person, not as an object.Rather than trying to “get them to do things”, I can work to“help them see the value in this activity”. The shift inthinking is small, but the impact on results is huge. Just as asmall part like a rudder can steer a large ship, a small thinglike a thought can steer a relationship. Decide to be a person among people, not the person among objects. You may use this article for electronic distribution if you willinclude all contact information with live links back to theauthor. Notification of use is not required, but I wouldappreciate it. Please contact the author prior to use in printedmedia. Copyright 2005, Guy Harris
About the author:Guy Harris is the Chief Relationship Officer with PrincipleDriven Consulting. He helps entrepreneurs, business managers,and other organizational leaders build trust, reduce conflict,and improve team performance. http://www.principledriven.com Guyco-authored "The Behavior Bucks System TM" to help parents.http://www.behaviorbucks.com
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